Hi Everyone and welcome back to the Hockey Journey Podcast, episode number 98, willpower + disapline + persistence ='s progress? Presented to you by Online Hockey Training dot com. I'm your host Coach Lance Pitlick. If you're new here, please make sure you subscribe, so you won't miss out on any future episodes.
Before we pop the top off the bottle, pour some high quality H20 into our favorite sippy cup and begin this conversation, if you want to learn more about me, my hockey experiences, what I know, and most importantly, how I've been helping hockey players get really good with a stick and puck, just head on over to onlinehockeytraining.com and gain instant access to my 10 part video series where I'll show you everything. Consider it my gift to you.
Lastly, if you live in Minnesota or are visiting the State of Hockey sometime soon and you want to schedule an in-person off-ice stick skills lesson, I'd love to have the opportunity to show you my little world. Go to sweethockeycoach.com, and watch the video on the homepage for instructions. Thanks and I look forward to working with you sometime soon.
Today I'd like to start this show by doing a little experiment with you. It'll take less than a minute, but in order for this exercise to benefit you, you have to first answer some questions and be brutally honest with your answers. Ready to give it a go? Let's begin.
I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, there's always something written on my wall, jotted down on a piece of scratch paper in my wallet or bouncing around in my head like a beach ball, it's the idea of accomplishment. Deciding one day that you want something and from that moment on you start looking for ways to achieve it.
Here's the exercise. Go back in time 30 to 45 days and locate that something you wanted to accomplish that would require regular attention on a daily basis. Some simple examples would be eating healthier, exercising more consistently, journaling, meditating, or maybe it's putting in a little time most days in your garage, basement or backyard, working on improving your stick skills, wink wink. Did you accomplish what you set out to achieve? Remember, I need you to be honest with yourself when answering this question.
Usually for me, when doing this reflection exercise, I either crush it or fail miserably, how about you? The times I didn't achieve my desired outcome, I would always start to read a self improving book. In almost every single one of these self-help books I've ever read, if I had to pick one word that would be associated with success, achievement or accomplishment, it would be the word progress.
Dictionary dot com defines progress as -
1. a movement toward a goal or to a further or higher stage
2. advancement in general
3. growth or development; continuous improvement
I remember from over 2 decades ago, my coach Jacques Martin, for the Ottawa Senators constantly saying or it was written on the board in the locker room, I quote; "focus on the process and the results will take care of themselves!" I connected with that word from that moment when I heard Mr. Martin say that phrase.
I've accomplished a lot since I heard that quote, post hockey career, but what's interesting, and now we get back to the question I asked earlier, but what happened when my intended target was not reached, what happens then?
Again, if I'm completely honest with myself, if I didn't get what I wanted and looked back, under a revealing microscope, the proof is in the pudding, so they say. There's crumbs that are left behind when reaching your goal, or when you fall short. These crumbs have names when you win your objective that apply to the formula for success. But those same words or crumbs can be the exact reason you failed or fell short on crossing the finish-line regarding your dream desire.
If you really look at yourself in the mirror when you don't reach your goal, and this can be hard, because you have to admit defeat, for me, there's usually 3 words that drive my progress in either direction, and those words are willpower, discipline and persistence. Example - Tomorrow I have 2 hours where I have to focus my attention deliberately on one thing and I have to do the same thing over and over and over again, day after day, year after year.
When I have a successful day, it usually means I was able to move the needle forward by demonstrating a little willpower, discipline and was persistent in my pursuit. If I didn't have those three components, I wouldn't make much or any progress for the day. But if I did have those disciplines firing on all cylinders on that particular day, man the progress was noticeable and fueled the next day's quest of achievement.
Now I'm not an expert on much, especially on giving advice on how to develop better willpower, discipline or persistence when chasing something, but books have been an inspiration for me over the years and I'd like to share with you some titles and quotes that have pushed me to be a better version of myself today, than I was yesterday. I'll put the links to each of the books in the description, if something really resonated with you and you wanted to pick up a copy of your own. With that being said, let's begin.
Book Number One
Discipline Equals Freedom
Field Manual
By Jacko Willink
Quote #1
“People look for shortcuts. The hack. And if you came here looking for that: You won’t find it. The shortcut is a lie. The hack doesn’t get you there. And if you want to take the easy road, it won’t take you to where you want to be: Stronger. Smarter. Faster. Healthier. Better. FREE. To reach goals and overcome obstacles and become the best version of you possible will not happen by itself. It will not happen cutting corners, taking shortcuts, or looking for the easy way. THERE IS NO EASY WAY. There is only hard work, late nights, early mornings, practice, rehearsal, repetition, study, sweat, blood, toil, frustration, and discipline. DISCIPLINE. THERE MUST BE DISCIPLINE. Discipline: The root of all good qualities. The driver of daily execution. The core principle that overcomes laziness and lethargy and excuses. Discipline defeats the infinite excuses that say: Not today, not now, I need a rest, I will do it tomorrow.What’s the hack? How do you become stronger, smarter, faster, healthier? How do you become better? How do you achieve true freedom? There is only one way. THE WAY OF DISCIPLINE.” (End Quote)
Quote #2
UNTIL THE END
“Something I saw in combat that I later tried to train out of people was the tendency to relax once the primary objective of a mission was complete. I tried to train that out of them because you can’t relax until the entire mission is complete. In training, we always attacked the platoons hard on their primary objective, but we always attacked them even harder after they left the main target, once the platoons were patrolling back to base, when their minds had already gone home and ‘turned off.’ That’s when we would bring it to them. Hit them with mayhem. So they would develop the attitude and the muscle memory to keep going until the end. And even when they got back to base, we would re-task them so they had to begin planning again. It wouldn’t stop. That’s the mentality I wanted to instill in them: It is never finished. You always have more to do. Another mission. Another task. Another goal. And the enemy is always watching. Waiting. Looking for that moment of weakness. Looking for you to exhale, set your weapon down, and close your eyes, even just for a moment. And that’s when they attack. So don’t be finished. Be starting. Be alert. Be ready. Be attacking. BE RELENTLESS. Let the enemy stop. Let the enemy rest. Let the enemy finish. You? Don’t finish. Don’t stop. Don’t rest. Not until the enemy is completely destroyed. And even then... Turn your focus inward, on yourself, and take the opportunity not to rest... But to make yourself better, faster, smarter, stronger. Because with those goals, nothing is ever finished.” (End Quote)
Quote #3
NATURE VS. NURTURE
“What is more important: Nature or nurture? In my opinion: Neither. ... To me, it is not about nature or nurture: It is about choice. ... The people who are successful decide they are going to be successful. They make that choice. And they make other choices. They decide to study hard. They decide to work hard. They decide to be the first person to get to work and the last to go home. They decide they are going to take on the hard jobs. Take on the challenges. They decide they are going to lead when no one else will. They choose who they are going to hang around and they choose who they will emulate. Theychoose to become who they want to become—they aren’t inhibited by nature or nurture. They overcome both. And I will tell you something else: It is never too late to make that choice. You are never too old to decide where you are going to focus your efforts and push to make the most out of every situation. So. Think not about what you’ve been through and where you were. Think about where you are going, and choose. Choose to make yourself smarter and stronger and healthier. Choose to work out and study and eat good food and keep your mind clean. Don’t let nature or nurture make you. Choose to MAKE. YOUR. SELF.” (End Quote)
Quote #4
GOOD
“When things are going bad: Don’t get all bummed out, don’t get startled, don’t get frustrated. No. Just look at the issue and say: ‘Good.’ Now, I don’t mean to say something trite; I’m not trying to sound like Mr. Smiley Positive Guy. That guy ignores the hard truth. That guy thinks a positive attitude will solve problems. It won’t. But neither will dwelling on the problem. No. Accept reality, but focus on the solution. Take that issue, take that setback, take that problem, and turn it into something good. Go forward. And, ifyou are part of a team, that attitude will spread throughout. Finally: If you can say the word ‘good,’ then guess what? It means you’re still alive. It means you’re still breathing, that means you’ve still got some fight left in you. So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage—and go out on the attack.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #5
STOP EATING SUGAR
“Sugar truly is addictive. It stimulates the same parts of the brain as heroin and cocaine. When you have it you want more of it. And you know this to be true. That’s why you can’t stop eating it. And when you do stop eating it, you will feel withdrawal. Headache. Irritation. Anxiety. ... Stay strong. Get off the sugar train. Get off the addiction. Stop eating sugar.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #6
DO
“Don’t just read this book. Don’t just listen to the podcast. Don’t just watch videos online. Don’t just take notes. Don’t just study them. Don’t just share them with your friends. Don’t just plan. Don’t just mark your calendar. Don’t just ‘get motivated.’ Don’t just talk. Don’t just think. Don’t just dream. No. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is that you actually do. SO: DO.” (End Quote)
Book Number Two
The Willpower Instinct
How Self-Control works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More Of It
By Kelly Mcgonigal
Quote #1
“We may all have been born with the capacity for willpower, but some of us use it more than others. People who have better control of their attention, emotions, and actions are better off almost any way you look at it. They are happier and healthier. Their relationships are more satisfying and last longer. They make more money and go further in their careers. They are better able to manage stress, deal withconflict, and overcome adversity. They even live longer. When pit against other virtues, willpower comes out on top. Self-control is a better predictor of academic success than intelligence (take that, SATs), a stronger determinant of effective leadership than charisma (sorry, Tony Robbins), and more important for marital bliss than empathy (yes, the secret to lasting marriage may be learning how to keep your mouth shut). If we want to improve our lives, willpower is not a bad place to start.” (End Quote)
Quote #2
THE #1 WAY TO BOOST YOUR WILLPOWER: MEDITATION
“There is growing scientific evidence that you can train your brain to get better at self-control. What does willpower training for your brain look like?”
“Neuroscientists have discovered that when you ask the brain to meditate, it gets better not just at meditating, but at a wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness. People who meditate regularly aren’t just better at these things. Over time, their brains become finely tuned willpower machines. Regular meditators have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, as well as regions of the brain that support self-awareness.”
: “One study found that just three hours of meditation practice led to improved attention and self-control. After eleven hours, researchers could see those changes in the brain. The new meditators had increased neural connections between regions of the brain important for staying focused, ignoring distractions, and controlling impulses. Another study found that eight weeks of daily meditation practice led to increased self-awareness in everyday life, as well as increased gray matter in corresponding areas of the brain. It may seem incredible that our brains can reshape themselves so quickly, but meditation increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, in much the same way that lifting weights increases blood flow to your muscles. The brain appears to adapt to exercise in the same way that muscles do, getting both bigger and faster in order to get better at what you ask of it.” (End Quote)
Quote #3
THE WILLPOWER RESPONSE: PAUSE-AND-PLAN
“Suzanne Segerstrom, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, studies how states of mind like stress and hope influence the body. She has found that, just like stress, self-control has a biological signature. The need for self-control sets into motion a coordinated set of changes in the brain and body that help you resist temptation and override self-destructive urges. Segerstrom calls those changes the pause-and-plan response, which couldn’t look more different from the fight-or-flight response.”
“Your brain needs to bring the body on board with your goals and put the brakes on your impulses. To do this, your prefrontal cortex will communicate the need for self-control to lower brain regions that regulate your heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and other automatic functions. The pause-and-plan response drives you in the opposite direction of the fight-or-flight response. Instead of speeding up, your heart slows down, and your blood pressure stays normal. Instead of hyperventilating like a madman, you take adeep breath. Instead of tensing muscles to prime them for action, your body relaxes a little.” (End Quote)
Quote #4
SLOW YOUR BREATHING DOWN
“You won’t find many quick fixes in this book, but there is one way to immediately boost willpower: Slow your breathing down to four to six breaths per minute. That’s ten to fifteen seconds per breath—slower than you normally breathe, but not difficult with a little bit of practice and patience. Slowing the breath down activates the prefrontal cortex and increases heart rate variability, which helps shift the brain and body from a state of stress to self-control mode. A few minutes of this technique will make you feel calm, in control, and capable of handling cravings or challenges.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #5
THE WONDER DRUG OF EXERCISE
“Exercise turns out to be the closest thing to a wonder drug that self-control scientists have discovered. For starters, the willpower benefits of exercise are immediate. Fifteen minutes on a treadmill reduces cravings, as seen when researchers try to tempt dieters with chocolate and smokers with cigarettes. The long-term effects of exercise are even more impressive. It not only relieves ordinary, everyday stress, but it’s as powerful an antidepressant as Prozac. Working out also enhances the biology of self-control by increasing baseline heart rate variability and training the brain. When neuroscientists have peered inside the brains of new exercisers, they have seen increases in both gray matter—brain cells—and white matter, the insulation on brain cells that helps them communicate quickly and efficiently with each other. Physical exercise— like meditation—makes your brain bigger and faster, and the prefrontal cortex shows the largest training effect.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #6
BUILD THE MUSCLE W/SMALL SELF-CONTROL EXERCISES
“Other studies have found that committing to any small, consistent act of self-control— improving your posture, squeezing a handgrip every day to exhaustion, cutting back on sweets, and keeping track of your spending—can increase overall willpower. And while these small self control exercises may seem inconsequential, they appear to improve the willpower challenges we care about most, including focusing at work, taking good care of our health, resisting temptation, and feeling more in control of our emotions.”
“The important “muscle” action being trained in all these studies isn’t the specific willpower challenge of meeting deadlines, using your left hand to open doors, or keeping the F-word to yourself. It’s the habit of noticing what you are about to do, and choosing to do the more difficult thing instead of the easiest. Through each of these willpower exercises, the brain gets used to pausing before acting. The triviality of the assignments may even help this process. The tasks are challenging, but they’re not overwhelming. And while the self-restraints require careful attention, they’re unlikely to trigger strong feelings of deprivation. (“What do you mean I’m not allowed to say ‘yeah’?!?!? That’s the only thing that gets me through the day!”) The relative unimportance of the willpower challenges allowed participants to exercise the muscle of self-control without the internal angst that derails so many of our attempts to change.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #7
REDUCE THE VARIABILITY OF YOUR BEHAVIOR
“Aim to reduce the variability of your behavior day to day. View every choice you make as a commitment to all future choices. So instead of asking, “Do I want to eat this candy bar now?” ask yourself, “Do I want the consequences of eating a candy bar every afternoon for the next year?” Or if you’ve been putting something off that you know you should do, instead of asking “Would I rather do this today or tomorrow?” ask yourself, “Do I really want the consequences of always putting this off?” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #8
TRY A STRESS-RELIEF STRATEGY THAT WORKS
“While many of the most popular stress-relief strategies fail to make us feel better, some strategies really work. According to the American Psychological Association, the most effective stress-relief strategies are exercising or playing sports, praying or attending a religious service, reading, listening to music, spending time with friends or family, getting a massage, going outside for a walk, meditating or doing yoga, and spending time with a creative hobby. (The least effective strategies are gambling, shopping, smoking, drinking, eating, playing video games, surfing the Internet, and watching TV or movies for more than two hours.)”
: “The main difference between the strategies that work and the strategies that don’t? Rather than releasing dopamine and relying on the promise of reward, the real stress relievers boost mood-enhancing brain chemicals like serotonin and GABA, as well as the feelgood hormone oxytocin. They also help shut down the brain’s stress response, reduce stress hormones in the body, and induce the healing relaxation response. Because they aren’t exciting like the dopamine releasers, we tend to underestimate how good they will make us feel. And so we forget about these strategies not because they don’t work, but because when we’re stressed, our brains persistently mis-predict what will make us happy. This means that we’ll often talk ourselves out of doing the very thing that will actually make us feel better.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #9
BE NICE TO YOURSELF!
“If you think that the key to greater willpower is being harder on yourself, you are not alone. But you are wrong. Study after study shows that self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control. It is also one of the single biggest predictors of depression, which drains both “I will” power and “I want” power. In contrast, self-compassion—being supportive and kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure—is associated with more motivation and better self-control. Consider, for example, a study at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, that tracked the procrastination of students over an entire semester. Lots of students put off studying for the first exam, but not every student made it a habit. Students who were harder on themselves for procrastinating on their first exam were more likely to procrastinate on later exams than students who forgave themselves. The harder they were on themselves about procrastinating the first time, the longer they procrastinated for the nextexam! Forgiveness—not guilt—helped them get back on track.”
“Everybody makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. How we handle these setbacks matters more than the fact that they happened.”
: “We all have the tendency to believe self-doubt and self-criticism, but listening to this voice never gets us closer to our goals. Instead, try on the point of view of a mentor or good friend who believes in you, wants the best for you, and will encourage you when you feel discouraged.” (End Quote)
Bonus Quote #10
BURN THE SHIPS & PRECOMMIT
“Cortés knew that when they faced their first battle, the crew would be tempted to retreat if they knew they had the option to sail away. So according to legend, he ordered his officers to set the ships on fire. The ships—Spanish galleons and caravels—were made entirely of wood and waterproofed with an extremely flammable pitch. Cortés lit the first torch, and as his men destroyed the ships, they burned to the water line and sank. This is one of history’s most notorious examples of committing one’s future self to a desired course of action. In sinking his ships, Cortés demonstrated an important insight into human nature. While we may feel brave and tireless when we embark on an adventure, our future selves may be derailed by fear and exhaustion. Cortés burned those ships to guarantee that his men didn’t act on their fear. He left the crew—and all their future selves—with no choice but to go forward. This is a favorite story of behavioral economists who believe that the best strategy for self-control is, essentially, to burn your ships. One of the first proponents of this strategy was Thomas Schelling, a behavioral economist who won the 2005 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences for his Cold War theory of how nuclear powers can manage conflict. Schelling believed that to reach our goals, we must limit our options. He called this precommitment.” (End Quote)
I was hoping to include a 3rd book, but I think we need to shut it down here as there is just way too many great ideas that we need to take some time to ponder and see if there's one, just one suggestion that we can try to implement into our lives, not tomorrow, but today.
Any quotes really speak loudly to you, where you felt some kind of connection? For me, it was book number one, quote number four and it's going to get another quick re-read, because I like it so much.
Quote #4
From Discipline Equals Freedom
GOOD
“When things are going bad: Don’t get all bummed out, don’t get startled, don’t get frustrated. No. Just look at the issue and say: ‘Good.’ Now, I don’t mean to say something trite; I’m not trying to sound like Mr. Smiley Positive Guy. That guy ignores the hard truth. That guy thinks a positive attitude will solve problems. It won’t. But neither will dwelling on the problem. No. Accept reality, but focus on the solution. Take that issue, take that setback, take that problem, and turn it into something good. Go forward. And, if you are part of a team, that attitude will spread throughout. Finally: If you can say the word ‘good,’ then guess what? It means you’re still alive. It means you’re still breathing, that means you’ve still got some fight left in you. So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage—and go out on the attack.” (End Quote)
Well that concludes another episode of the hockey journey podcast. I can’t thank you enough for stopping by and listening. I hope you enjoyed learning about willpower plus discipline plus persistence equals progress? I think it does! Lastly, if you think there’s someone in your circle of family and friends that might like this episode as well, please share it with just one person, it will really help me in growing this hockey community.
Again, I appreciate you being here, don’t forget to subscribe, rate or submit a review, I hope to see you back here soon, and do me a favor, make someone close to you smile today. All the best my friends!!
